Fat Insecurities and Being Single

I always wanted to start my own blog, I never had a solid idea of  what my posts would be about. I’m not the best writer but I’m raw and honest. For days I been thinking about what I wanted my blog to be about. I do love food, fashion, makeup, and even a little politics but that wasn’t it. Today after a four hour culinary class, I realized why I been single for 4 years! ……….I’m extremely insecure!

I always knew my weight gain effected my relationships with others , not just romantically but even my friendship and family. Every other word is “how fat I look and trying to lose weight” I always can tell when my friends are getting aggravated and tired of hearing me put myself down. The truth is I always feel the need to put myself down because deep down I always say what I feel the people around me are thinking. I always avoid family gatherings and holidays dinners by being isolated in my room.

This big insecurity is showing! I been texting this guy in my class for 2 weeks and I completely turned him off ! I constantly push him away with “I’m not your type” meaning I’m fat and your probably into pretty skinny girls. Today, first day back from spring break, I completely embarrassed myself I flirted with him, coming off strong and very desperate. Even one of my friends had to tell me to stop! yes that strong. At this point I feel like I complete turned him off! any advice? … I will keep you guys posted!


Fat Insecurities and Being Single,

Leyla Chardonnay!